Say it with us now: “Penis, penis, penis. Vagina, vagina, vagina.” For far too many people, saying the phallic anatomy aloud comes much easier than the yonic. In these parts we love making sure our vulva/vagina owning friends and those that love them feel empowered to talk about their bodies and all their parts — so it’s important that we set the standard to say what we mean when we talk about these parts. And, again, we mean vaginas (which are not a dirty word!)

Our society is totally cool with throwing around slang terms for vagina — whether affectionately, with an attempt at avoiding vulgarity or with the express purpose of being vulgar — that are infinitely creepier and way more offensive than the medical term. Too often we teach our kids cutesy terminology that only works to reinforce the vagina as some unknowable, inappropriate thing as opposed to what is, at best, an awesome piece of anatomy that evolves and changes with its owner or, at worst, a neutral body part.

Need proof? We rounded a host of the different words for the female anatomy we could think of — from the tame to the say-whaaat? to the just plain juvenile. It appears that there’s apparently nothing we won’t do to avoid saying vagina, if these words are the ones we’re choosing to run with.

Make it down this list and we’re pretty sure you’ll agree with us that vagina is preferable to this evasive nonsense.

  1. Vag

  2. Vajayjay

  3. Box

  4. Nether regions

  5. Lady business

  6. Lady V

  7. Hoo-haw

  8. Cha-cha

  9. Lady bits

  10. Crotch

  11. Muff

  12. Kitty

  13. Cooch

  14. Cooter

  15. Snatch

  16. Snapper

  17. Beaver

  18. Cookie

  19. Cupcake

  20. Coin purse

  21. Lady flower

  22. Honey pot

  23. Poon

  24. Punani

  25. Twat

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  1. Gash

  2. Banana basket

  3. Flower pot

  4. Fine china

  5. Juice box

  6. Pink panther

  7. Hot pocket

  8. Bikini bizkit

  9. Penis fly trap

  10. Vertical smile

  11. Dew flaps

  12. Flaming lips

  13. Puff pillow

  14. Notorious V.A.G.

  15. Furburger

  16. Bearded clam

  17. Sausage wallet

  18. Panty hamster

  19. Meat curtains

  20. Penis garage

46 Pink taco

  1. Axe wound

  2. Penis snuggie

  3. P****

  4. C*** (unless you have one and fully understand what it means to say it — just, don’t).

A version of this story was published October 2017.

Before you go, check out our favorite vagina-friendly wipes that won’t mess with your pH: